Pastoral Care at
Hoylake Chapel
Text by Margaret Gregory
Illustrations by Alex Stewart
with help from the rest of the Pastoral Care Team
(Clive Gregory, Doug
& Fiona Moffat, Rachel Page, Ruth Stewart, Alex Rankin, Ian & Julie
Woods)
April 2010
What is Pastoral Care?
Pastoral care means caring for and supporting
each other within Hoylake Chapel Fellowship. It is mutual, meaning that we
don’t have two groups of people – those who need pastoral care and those who
give it. We all need support and we all benefit from being involved in giving
support to others. Above all, pastoral care means growing together in the Body
of Christ, being filled with the very fullness of God (see Ephesians 2 v 22 and
Ephesians 3 vv 17-19).
Pastoral care has a number of different
aspects.
As individuals in the 21st century, we
are complex human beings with a variety of needs, physical, intellectual,
emotional and spiritual. Pastoral care should address any or all of these
areas, understanding that we are whole people and our lives are not
compartmentalised into little boxes. Sometimes difficulties in one area of life
can affect other parts as well.
However, we are not just individuals. We live
in community and belong to families and groups and that gives a certain
perspective to our needs.
Each generation in the church will have its own
special challenges: children, young people, adults and older adults. We may, for example, live in a family
setting, or on our own as a single adult, a widow or widower. We may be
unemployed, work part time, or have a fulltime demanding and stressful job. We
may be disabled or have a long- term illness which can influence our ability to undertake paid employment.
Unlike previous centuries most women combine
raising children and a career. Most men are actively involved in family life as
well as their paid employment. Whilst recognising the many benefits this
brings, the juggling of numerous different commitments can add to the stresses
and strains of modern life.
All of us move in and out of these kinds of
groups during our lifetime and our needs change as we do so. Pastoral care is
dynamic and does not put us in pigeon holes and keep us there but recognises
that as life changes, we change, and the support we need must keep pace and
change with us.
Pastoral care can be expressed in many
different ways. Praying for each other regularly and faithfully is one of the
greatest services that we can do for someone else. Coming alongside and
supporting by listening in an attentive, respectful and confidential way,
builds trust and openness with each other. Sometimes practical support is
needed, for example, cooking a meal, babysitting, ironing, tidying a garden,
inviting someone round for a cup of tea or a meal. Sometimes the support could
be in sensitively sharing our own experience, giving information or signposting
someone to a specialist agency where they can get the help they need. These are
some of the actions (and there are lots of others!) by which we tell each other
that we love and care and they are louder than our words alone.
What Pastoral Care is not
Some people may be concerned that Pastoral Care
means that they will have people interfering in their lives, telling them what
to do and effectively removing their freedom and autonomy. There are plenty of
‘power games’ played in the world where one group or individual seeks to
dominate another. Some years ago a group of churches embraced a movement called
‘shepherding’ that got itself a reputation for doing just that. Hoylake Chapel
does not and has never believed in this kind of pastoral care.
But ‘shepherding’ done in the right way is a
Biblical principle: read John 21 vv 15-17 where Jesus instructs Peter to feed
and care for His sheep. Because pastoral care may have been done badly in some
places in the past does not mean that we should not do it at all!
We need to care for each other in a sensitive,
loving, helpful and supportive way and if we get it wrong the response should
be to forgive, listen more attentively to each other, learn the lessons and do
better. The Christian community is, above all, a place of love and forgiveness.
Why do it?
The simple answer is, because Jesus told us to!
Read John 15 vv 9-13. See also the Appendix. Jesus’ ministry announced that the
Kingdom of God had come (Mark 1 vv 14-15). We are Kingdom people living now in
God’s Kingdom and the hallmarks of the Kingdom of King Jesus are the fruits of
the Spirit who indwells each one of us: read Galatians 5 vv 22-23. However, we are also living in this world as
‘aliens’ (1Peter 2 v 11 REV) or, as some other translations put it, as
strangers and pilgrims.
One of the greatest ways to witness to the
world about our faith is to live the Kingdom of God so that people cannot miss
it. The early church was famous in the world around because people saw how the
Christians loved one another. The world is yearning for love and community.
Let’s make sure they know where to find it!
Principles
of Pastoral Care
1.
The Pastoral Care
Team are bound by the rules of confidentiality at all times. Confidentiality is
very important. Information shared between the pastoral care worker and a
person in their pastoral care group will not be shared with others without the
individual’s permission. Gossip is never acceptable. It damages trust and
destroys relationships.
2.
There are two
exception to the sharing of information:
a) If the information shared is thought to be actually or
potentially in breach of the law, the pastoral worker reserves the right to
share this with an Elder and ask advice. There may be other occasions when the
pastoral worker would ask permission from the person sharing complex issues to
contact an Elder for further advice and support.
b) Some limited information may be shared within the
Pastoral Care Team, for example if more than one person is involved in an issue
or situation, but this will be confined to a ‘need to know’ basis in order for
effective support to be offered.
3.
Pastoral care is not
counselling and most pastoral workers have not been trained to do counselling.
Pastoral workers will recognise their own limitations and seek to signpost the
individual to professional sources of help and support when necessary.
4. It is recognised that all of us get on better with
some people than with others. This is often due to feeling that we have
something in common or that a particular person understands our situation
better. If a pastoral worker is assigned whom an individual feels cannot meet
their needs they may see an Elder and ask to be assigned to someone else.
The important principle is
that everyone should have someone they feel they can trust and with whom they
can be open and honest in a mutually enriching relationship. People on the
Pastoral Care Team recognise this reality and will not be personally offended
if you make such a request.
5.
In our relationships
with each other we will seek to be
a) Non-judgemental
b) Positive and affirming, recognising the unique worth of each individual.
c) Willing
to engage in the ‘give and take’ that builds real friendship.
Why organise Pastoral Care?
Some people might argue that there is no need
to organise pastoral care because love and support should be spontaneous. The
early church discovered that this led to problems: read Acts 6 vv 1-6. They
devised a system of deacons to ensure that support was fair and that everybody
received what they needed.
We are frail human beings and, unintentionally,
people can feel left out or actually be left out if we are not proactive in
organising a system that covers everybody. However, it is not an either/or
situation.
Pastoral care at Hoylake Chapel is flexible and
people can be spontaneous and respond to others as they feel the Spirit
directing them, even if, in some instances, this may be outside the ‘system’.
The organisation is simply to ensure that no one is overlooked or forgotten and
that everybody has a point of contact with someone who cares for him or her.
Who is eligible for Pastoral Care?
·
All members of
Hoylake Chapel (and their children up to 18 years).
·
All those who
regularly attend services or groups organised by Hoylake Chapel.
Figure 1 – Layer 1: The Pastoral Care Team and Individuals
Green circles are individuals who attend Hoylake
Chapel; the white circle is you; circles with red or orange edges are the
members of the Pastoral Care Team (mainly couples), the arrows link the
Pastoral Care Workers with Chapel individuals.
Figure 2 – Layer 1: Pastoral Care for Pastoral
Care Team members
As for figure 1; purple lines indicate pastoral care
for Pastoral Care Team members.
Figure 3 – Layer 2: Pastoral Care through Small
Groups
As for figure 1; the coloured shapes indicate
different small groups; note that some individuals are in more than one group
while others only occasionally attend a group.
Figure 4 – Layer 3: Pastoral Care through
Partnerships
As for figure 1; most partnerships are between two
individuals, but other configurations, upto four persons, are possible; a few
are not linked at all yet.
Can
I opt out?
We would be very sad if you wanted to opt out
because it would indicate to us that something is badly wrong. We would be very
grateful, if you feel like this, if you would speak to one of the Elders and
explain your concerns so that together we can find a way forward. Hoylake
Chapel seeks to be part of the universal Body of Christ. As part of the Body,
in Hoylake, we need each other. Each person’s contribution is unique, valuable
and cannot be completely replicated by anyone else.
So, if someone opts out, the whole Body is the
poorer. Conversely, we are so much stronger and richer when we support and
complement each other than we could ever be on our own.
How will Pastoral Care be organised?
Ultimately, the Elders are responsible for the
pastoral care of the Church. But like the Apostles they have recognised the
practical need to delegate some responsibilities to others. The early church’s
appointment of deacons has already been mentioned. In many of St Paul’s letters
he urges the churches to accept those whom he has sent in his place, for
example, Timothy, Silas and Epaphroditus.
Those to whom Paul entrusted pastoral
responsibility were not to be considered ‘second best’ because he could not be
there in person, but received as the Christians would have received Paul
himself. Indeed, Jesus says in Matthew 10 v 40 that those who receive His
servants receive Him, and those who receive Him receive God the Father.
So, care from your Pastoral worker, whether
that is prayer, a visit, a telephone conversation, a meal together or anything
else is a very real expression of the love of God for you channelled by the
Elders through those they deem to be gifted in pastoral ministry.
The Pastoral Care Team consists of Elders and
their wives and other church members who have been identified as having
particular gifts in pastoral ministry. Each member or couple on this team has
responsibility for a number of people within the congregation. It makes sense
to allocate people to pastoral care workers on the basis of frequency of
contact, or similarity of interests, although this is not always possible.
There are three organisational layers of
Pastoral Care. The Elders would ideally like everyone to be involved in all
three layers, but realise that some people’s circumstances may make this
impractical. Everybody who is a Chapel member or regular attendee will be
included in layer 1. Layer 2 concerns belonging to small groups and layer 3 is
about developing partnerships. Here is a more detailed explanation of the three
layers:
Layer 1 – Individual Pastoral Care
(figures 1 & 2)
All members and regular attendees of Hoylake
Chapel and its activities will be assigned a Pastoral Care Worker from the
Pastoral Care Team. Each person will know who their Pastoral worker(s) is and
will be free to contact them at any time about any matter with which they feel
they need support either through prayer or in a practical way. The Pastoral
worker(s) will contact the individual to get to know him / her and develop a
relationship that works for them both. The pastoral workers are included in
this, having their own pastoral carer(s).
Layer 2 – Small Groups (figure 3)
The Elders recognise that pastoral care is also
a responsibility of the various small groups within the Chapel and they wish to
strengthen this approach. Every person within the congregation will be
encouraged to attend or help develop one of these groups. The leaders of groups
which vary from conventional house groups to Meeting Point and the Y course at
the `Plasterer’s Arms’, the Music Group and others, will be supported in their
pastoral role by the Pastoral Care Team.
Thus, in addition to their individual pastoral care worker, individuals
will also receive pastoral care from the whole of their small group.
Layer 3 – Partnerships (figure 4)
A third layer which the Elders would like to
see develop within the Chapel is what has been called ‘Partnerships.’ These are
more personal, with two, three, or at the most four, people agreeing to give
mutual support through regular and reasonably frequent meetings. This could be
over a meal or a cup of coffee/tea and include confidential sharing and prayer.
Whilst it is up to individuals to form such partnerships it would be helpful
for the overall organisation of pastoral care for the Pastoral Care Team to
know who is in partnership with whom. This would enable the team to direct
their support appropriately and sensitively, without breaking confidences.
The Pastoral Care Team will issue a list
showing the pastoral care workers’ names and the names of the people for whom each
has responsibility. This list will be updated every six months and re-issued as
it is inevitable that people will move in and out of groups for all kinds of
reasons, as has been explained earlier.
Responsibilities
Pastoral
Care Workers
1.
To pray regularly for
those in their pastoral care group
2.
To get to know each
individual by building a reciprocal friendship
3.
To establish mutual
trust so that sharing can take place in a relationship of confidence and
confidentiality
4.
To ‘look out’ for
those in their group, seeking sensitively to ensure that their needs are being
met and that they have opportunities to grow in Christ
5.
To contribute to the
development of pastoral care by attending the Team meetings and positively
engaging with pastoral issues within the church
6.
To assist in
identifying people’s gifts and ensuring there are opportunities for them to be
used
7.
To encourage people
within their group to support others and to be outward looking
Members and those who attend regularly
1. To pray for their Pastoral Care worker(s) and other members/adherents
of the church
2. To seek to grow in Christ and take their place in the
body of Christ
3. To seek to build friendships within the church
including their pastoral care worker(s)
4. To be willing to share their concerns and needs.
Pastoral care workers cannot read minds and sometimes people need to be
explicit in making their personal needs known
5. To be willing to identify and use their gifts for the
benefit of others and to build up the Body of Christ at the Chapel
Outcomes
When Pastoral care works well the church should
experience the following:
·
Growth in spiritual
maturity
·
Growth in an outward
looking community, a love between people that witnesses to the world around
·
People feeling
accepted cared for and understood
·
Opportunities for
people to identify, develop and use their gifts
·
An ideal nurturing
environment for those who are seeking or who are young in faith
·
All the blessings
that God pours on those who are obedient and faithful to His command that we
‘Love one another’
And Finally…….
‘The message you have heard from the beginning
is that we should love one another.’ (1 John 3 v 11)
‘We know we have crossed over from death to
life, because we love our fellow-Christians.’ (1 John 3 v13)
‘This is how we know what love is: Christ gave
His life for us. And we in our turn must give our lives for our
fellow-Christians.’ (1 John 3 v 16)
‘I am convinced that there is nothing in death
or life, in the realm of spirits or superhuman powers, in the world as it is or
the world as it shall be, in the forces of the universe, in heights or depths –
nothing in all creation that can separate us from the love of God in Christ
Jesus our Lord.’ (Romans 8 vv 38-39)
‘If there is this love among you, then everyone
will know that you are my disciples.’ (John 13 v 35)
Appendix: